Monday, February 8, 2010

Monday Musings 10/02/8

ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could
have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)

TWO
I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and
the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I
picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash
register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed..
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
'divider,' looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping
on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so
she was using the ATM 'thingy'
(keep shuddering!!)

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do
you need some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this
remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they
(pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car
keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the
batteries. It's a long walk....'
PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself!!!


FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out
of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the
photocopier,' the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her
last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and
proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.
Brunette, by the way!!

SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs
to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The
dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be
fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer........'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'
SEVEN
Frantic Caller: 911? My wife was just attacked by a warthog. Hurry! She's
pretty messed up!
911 Dispatcher: Sir, stay calm. What is your address?
Caller: 1218 Eucalyptus St.
Dispatcher: Sir, can you spell that?
Silence......
Caller: I'm just gonna drag her on over to Oak street......


Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!
I see you smiling.

2 comments:

Gloria said...

Sad but funny observations on the modern technological world we now live in but honestly, I would have wanted to have slapped that woman . . . hard . .lol!

Off to the airport now Linda. See you on my return!

Grandma J said...

simple and clueless people drive me nuts.