Friday, December 31, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
BEWARE OF TERRORIST GROUPS IN CHURCH
Latest news reports are that five terrorist cell groups have been operating in many of our
churches. They have been identified as: Bin Sleepin, Bin Arguin, Bin Fightin, Bin Complainin, and
Their leader, Lucifer Bin Workin, trained these groups to destroy the Body of Christ. The plan
is to come into the church disguised as Christians and to work within the church to discourage,
disrupt, and destroy..
However, there have been reports of a sixth group. A tiny cell known by the name Bin Prayin is
actually the only effective counter terrorism force in the church.. Unlike other terrorist cells,
the Bin Prayin team does not blend in with whoever and whatever comes along.
Bin Prayin does whatever is needed to uplift and encourage the Body of Christ.
We have noticed that the Bin Prayin cell group has different characteristics than the others.
They have Bin Watchin, Bin Waitin, Bin Fastin, and Bin Longin for their Master, Jesus Christ to return.
NO CHURCH IS EXEMPT!
(However, you can spot them if you bin lookin and bin goin.)
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Everyone should have a plan. Here’s mine. (Shamelessly stolen from email.)
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It’s rare… You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:
“Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate and wine in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO what a ride!”
Have a great holiday season!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
I will be making a conscious effort to wish everyone
a Merry Christmas this year ...
My way of saying that I am celebrating
the birth Of Jesus Christ.
So, I am asking my email buddies,
if you agree with me,
to please do the same.
And if you ' ll pass this on to
your email buddies, and so on...
maybe we can prevent one more
American tradition from being lost in the sea of
By the time the Lord made woman,
He was into his Sixth day of working overtime.
An Angel appeared and said, “Why are you spending so much time on this one?”
And the Lord answered and said, “Have you seen the spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold two children at one time and that disappears when she stands up, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands.”
The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one.
“Six pairs of hands!
No Way!” said the Angel.
The Lord replied, “Oh, it’s not the hands that are the problem.
It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!
And that’s just on the standard model?”
The Angel asked about the three pairs of eyes.
The Lord nodded. “Yep, one pair of eyes are to see through the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing even though she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head are to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks she can. And the third pair are here in the front of her head. They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word.”
The Angel tried to stop the Lord. “This is too much work for one day, wait until tomorrow to finish.”
“But I can’t!” The Lord protested, “I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can feed a family on a pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand in the shower.”
The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, “But you have made her so soft, Lord.” “She is soft,” The Lord agreed, “but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.”
“Will she be able to think?” asked the Angel.
The Lord replied, “Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate.”
The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman’s cheek. “Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.”
“That’s not a leak,” The Lord objected, “That’s a tear!”
“What’s the tear for?” the Angel asked.
The Lord said, “The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride.”
The Angel was impressed. “You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything, for women are truly amazing.”
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They carry children, they carry hardships, and they carry burdens…..but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up for injustice.
They don’t take “no” for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without new shoes so their children can have them.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes.
They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin!
Women do more than give birth.
They bring joy and hope.
They give compassion and ideals.
Women have a lot to say and a lot to give.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Christmas list from Jesus
An unknown author wrote something which I believe is important. He called it a
letter from Jesus about Christmas.
“It has come to my attention,” Jesus begins, “that many of you are upset because
some folks are taking my name out of the season . . . How I personally feel
about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you
who have been blessed with children of your own. I don’t care what you call the
day. If you want to celebrate my birth, just get along and love one another!
“Now, having said that, let me go on. If it bothers you that the town in which
you live doesn’t allow a scene depicting my birth, then just get rid of a couple
of Santas and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on your own front lawn.
If all my followers did that there wouldn’t be any need for such a scene on the
town square because there would be many of them all around town.
“Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a holiday tree,
instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all trees. You can remember me
anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if you wish: I actually spoke of
that one in a teaching, explaining who I am in relation to you and what each of
our tasks were.
If you have forgotten that one, look up John 15: 1-8.
If you want to give me a present in remembrance of my birth, here is my wish
list. Choose something from it to really make a difference.
1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way my birthday is being
celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from home. They are
terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I know, they tell me all the time.
2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don’t have to know them personally. They
just need to know that someone cares about them.
3. Instead of writing to the President complaining about the wording on the
cards his staff sent out this year, why don’t you write and tell him that you’ll
be praying for him and his family this year. Then follow up. It will be nice
hearing from you again.
4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can’t afford and they
don’t need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of my birth, and why I
came to live with you down here. Hold them in your arms and remind them that I
5. Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him or her.
6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their own life
this season because they feel so alone and hopeless? Since you don’t know who
that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile; it could make the
7. Instead of nit-picking about what the retailer in your town calls the
holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a warm smile and a
kind word. Even if they aren’t allowed to wish you a “Merry Christmas” that
doesn’t keep you from wishing them one.
8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary - especially
one who takes my love and Good News to those who have never heard my name.
9. Here’s a good one. There are individuals and whole families in your town who
not only will have no “Christmas” tree, but neither will they have any presents
to give or receive. If you don’t know them, buy some food and a few gifts and
give them to the Salvation Army or some other Christian charity, and they will
make the delivery for you.
10. Finally, if you want to make a statement about your belief in and loyalty to
me, then behave like a Christian. Don’t do things in secret that you wouldn’t do
in my presence. Let people know by your actions that you are one of mine.
have told you to do. I’ll take care of all the rest. Check out the list above
and get to work; time is short. I’ll help you, but the ball is now in your
And do have a most blessed Christmas with all those you love and remember . . .
I LOVE YOU, JESUS.”
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
“Understanding Tax Cuts” by: David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D
Sometimes politicians, journalists and the liberal left exclaim; It’s just a tax cut for the rich!” and it is just accepted to be fact, But what does that really mean? Just in case you are not completely clear on this issue, I hope the following will help.
Let’s put tax cuts in terms everyone can understand, Suppose that every day, ten men go out for dinner and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.
So, that’s what they decided to do.
The ten men ate dinner in the restaurant every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. ‘Since you are all such good customers,” he said. “I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by $20.” Dinner for the ten now cost just $80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still eat for free. But what about the other six men, the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his ‘fair share?’
They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to eat their meal. So, the restaurant owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same amount, and. he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay. And so:
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings).
The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28% savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings),
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).
Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to eat for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.
“I only got a dollar out of the’ $20.” declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man.” but he got $10!”
“Yeah that’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man. “I only saved a dollar, too. It’s unfair that he got ten times more than me!”
“That’s true! ! !“ shouted the seventh man. “Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!”
“Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in unison. “We didn’t get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!”
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for dinner, so the nine sat down and ate without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill.
And that boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction, Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start eating overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
"And when I stopped to buy some sweets, the lad who served me had such charm; he seemed to radiate good cheer, his manner was so kind and warm; I said, 'It's nice to deal with you, such courtesy I seldom find'; he turned and said, 'Oh, thank you sir.' And then I saw that he was blind. Oh, God, forgive me when I whine, I have two eyes, and the world is mine.
"Then, when walking down the street, I saw a child with eyes of blue; he stood and watched the others play, it seemed he knew not what to do; I stopped a moment, then I said, 'Why don't you join the others, dear?' He looked ahead without a word, and then I knew he could not hear. Oh God, forgive me when I whine, I have two ears, the world is mine.
"With feet to take me where I'd go / with eyes to see the sunsets glow / with ears to hear what I would know / I am blessed indeed / The world is mine / oh, God, forgive me when I whine."
May your stuffing be tasty,
May your turkey be plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious.
And your pies take the prize.
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
Monday, November 22, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
It's a booth you can step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on you. They see this as a win-win for everyone, with none of the whining about racial profiling. It also would eliminate the costs of long and expensive trials. Justice would be swift. Case closed!
You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system: "Attention standby passengers — we now have a seat available on flight number ____. Shalom."
Sunday, November 14, 2010
He gives me peace, when chaos is all around me.
He gently reminds me to pray before I speak And to do all things without murmuring and complaining.
He reminds me that He is my Source and not my job.
He restores my sanity everyday and guides my decisions That I might honor Him in everything I do.
Even though I face absurd amounts of e-mails, system crashes, unrealistic deadlines, budget cutbacks, gossiping co-workers, discriminating supervisors and an aging body that doesn't cooperate every morning, I will not stop -- for He is with me!
His presence, His peace, and His power will see me through.
He raises me up, even when they fail to promote me.
He claims me as His own, even when the company threatens to let me go.
His faithfulness and love are better than any bonus check.
His retirement plan beats every 401K there is!
When it's all said and done, I'll be working for Him a whole lot longer and for that, I bless His Name.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
A Veteran is someone, who at one point in their life, wrote a blank check payable to the United States of America for an amount up to, and including, their life. Regardless of personal political views, that is an honor, and there are far too many people in this country who no longer remember that fact.
Thank you, ladies AND gentlemen, for all you’ve done. Your sacrifices, both large & small, have not been forgotten.
A special thank you to my dad, my step-dad, my daughter, my brothers, my nephews, my son-in-law, and many more extended family for serving our country in the various arms of the service. A special thank you to those who are serving today. May our Lord bless and protect each one of you!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
"No Health Care for you" What do you do?
Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older A gun and 4 bullets!!
You are allowed to shoot: 2 Senators 2 Representatives
Of Course, this means you will be Sent to prison where you will get:
3 meals a day
Roof over your head
All the health care you need! New teeth - No problem!
Need glasses - Great!
New hip, knees, kidney, lungs and/or heart? All covered!!
(And your kids can come and visit you as often as they do now)
And who will be paying for all of this?
The same government that just told you that You are too old for health care!!
Plus… Because you are a prisoner… You don't have to pay Income Taxes anymore!!
IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!
God Bless America