Thought of the Day

Political Cartoon of the Day

IMHO

As most of you know, I read a lot of political blogs, and today I wanted to put in my 2 cents worth.

I think the Republicans will take back the Congress and Senate, BUT, they can't just sit back on their collective 'butts' and do nothing. They need to get a plan that will work in our country.

I think healthcare needs to be reworked, but it can't be made mandatory for 'everyone'. Insurance companies need to become competitive by being able to sell across state lines. Americans need to learn to use their healthcare like we do our car insurance...for major things, not like colds, etc.

Hospitals and Doctors need to be able to give a 'discount for cash' for those who don't have insurance, but the cash needs to be paid the day services are done.

Americans need to realize that abortions are a blight on our country. We've killed so many generations, it is no wonder we don't have a recurring base of people to enter the work force and provide money for taxes and social security. It is also an abomination to our Lord.

The blacks need to quit bringing 'race' into every argument. Just because we disagree with what is being done doesn't mean we are 'racist' or bigoted.

English needs to be made the official language. If we went to another country you know they wouldn't change their language, or provide someone to interpret for us.

We need to quit 'dumbing down' our school systems. Where are the students that want to study the math and sciences to provide answers to our perplexing problems?

Our teachers need to be paid a living wage. Why do sport figures, who don't provide anything except 'someone to be worshiped', make millions and teachers, who teach our children, aren't paid accordingly?

Children need to be disciplined. They need to be taught respect for people in authority and their elders.

Immigration needs to be addressed too. Those that come illegally need to be sent right back home, or jailed.

Jobs will make a comeback if companies are given the incentive, with tax breaks, etc, to provide them.

CEO's shouldn't get big bonuses unless their employees are getting raises too.

Safeguards need to be put in place so government workers can't pad their own pockets.

I'm a firm believer in term limits, not just for the president, but also for the congress and senate. When their terms are up, they need to go home and get a job, and work for their communities. They shouldn't get their wages for the rest of their lives...or their benefits. What is good for the goose is good for the gander.

Enough of my rant, but that is what I think.

Sunday Blessing

Ayla Brown, the daughter of Massachusetts Senator-elect Scott Brown, is a remarkably accomplished young woman.

Here she is singing the National Anthem during a Boston Pops concert.

Notice she sings it "straight" the way it was intended

H/T Pasadena Closet Conservative

This is For Josh and Max!

Profiling for Terrorists

I found this over at Fuzzy's Dad's blog.

I shamelessly stole it.



A lot of Americans have become so insulated from reality.Absolutely No Profiling! Pause a moment, reflect back, and take thefollowing multiple choice test.

These events are actual events from history.. They really happened!
Do you remember?

HERE'S THE TEST
1. 1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by:
a.. Superman
b. Jay Leno
c. Harry Potter
d. A Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40

2. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by :
a. Olga Corbett
b. Sitting Bull
c. Arnold Schwarzenegger
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

3. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by:
a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d . Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

4. During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. The Boy Scouts
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

5. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
a. A pizza delivery boy
b. Pee Wee Herman
c.. Geraldo Rivera
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

6. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year oldAmerican passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair by:
a. The Smurfs
b. Davey Jones
c. The Little Mermaid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

7. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens , and a US Navy divertrying to rescue passengers was murdered by:
a. Captain Kidd
b. Charles Lindberg
c. Mother Teresa
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

8. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
a. Scooby Doo
b. The Tooth Fairy
c. The Sundance Kid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

9. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
a. Richard Simmons
b. Grandma Moses
c. Michael Jordan
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

10. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
a. Mr. Rogers
b. Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women problems
c. The World Wrestling Federation
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

11. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to take out the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by thepassengers. Thousands of people were killed by:
a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
b. The Supreme Court of Florida
c. Mr Bean d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

12. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
a. Enron
b. The Lutheran Church
c. The NFL
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

13. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
a. Bonnie and Clyde
b. Captain Kangaroo
c. Billy Graham
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
No, I really don't see a pattern here to justify profiling, do you? So, to ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intenton killing us, airport security screeners will no longer be allowed to profile certain people.

They must conduct random searches of 80-year-oldwomen, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, secret agents who are members of the President's security detail, 85-year old Congressmenwith metal hips, and Medal of Honor winner and former Governor Joe Foss, but leave Muslim Males between the ages 17 and 40 alone lest they be guilty of profiling.

Let's send this to as many people as we can

Foot note: Fort Hood Texas ......another Muslim 39 years old killed 13people and wounded 30 some odd others...

Does this fit the profile!

NOW OUR COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF IS TELLING EVERYONE THAT THE YOUNG MUSLIM THAT ATTEMPTED TO BLOWUP A NORTHWEST/DELTA JET AS IT APPROACHED DETROIT ON CHRISTMAS DAY WAS (QUOTE) "AN ISOLATED INCIDENT".

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME OR WHAT!!!

MY FATHER USE TO SAY: "PLEASE DON'T PISS ON MY LEG AND TELL ME IT'S RAINING."

Life Qualities

Two of the greatest

qualities in life are:

Patience & Wisdom

Pro-Life...a powerful essay

Rock Star Supports Libertarians For Life: Former Van Halen and Extreme Front Man's Powerful Pro-Life Views

"My hope is to introduce as many who will listen,

regardless of where they stand,

to Libertarians for Life.

For their arguments are persuasive,

reasoning from science and philosophy.

Anyone with an objective mind

will find them hard to ignore."

-Gary Cherone

Former Van Halen and Extreme lead singer, Gary Cherone, is the most politically active of all singers who have stepped up the microphone. Some claim it may have cost him at a second shot with Van Halen, after 1998’s Van Halen III, which introduced Cherone to the band.

Cherone, a native of Boston, has a powerful pro-life view, that I enjoy recalling from time to time. He became active with his pro-life stance by addressing Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder’s pro-abortion views. Shortly after Van Halen III released (an under rated album), Vedder shared his abortion views in Rolling Stone. Vedder told Rolling Stone he felt like he knew every angle of the abortion argument.

"I feel like I know every angle of this issue," said Eddie Vedder."I know the adoption angle; I know what it's like to be fifteen and be in a situation and have to make a decision. Terminating pregnancy is not an easy thing."—Eddie Vedder, Rolling Stone 11/12/98

Cherone challenged Vedder’s claim, and even wound up on Fox News sharing his pro-life views after Chrone’s letter was published. Cherone writes:

An Open Letter to Eddie Vedder

When is a woman not a woman?

Therein lies the only clear refutation of a woman’s rights. A woman’s rights —seems a mere tautology, a redundant catch phrase. Are not rights self evident? Intrinsic assumptions of the inalienable? So, when is a woman not a woman, a right not a right?

When she doesn’t exist?

When does a woman become a woman?

Is it when her first ballot has been cast? Or when she graduates from her class?

Is it when she makes a wish on her sweet sixteenth? Would I be amiss if it were her first kiss?

Is it when she’s diagnosed by the boy next door? Or as ambiguous as the cutting of the cord?

Is it the timeit takes to travel the distance through the canal? Or when she’s kicking and becomes viable?

Is it when her sex is discovered by a sonogram? Or after eight weeks when the changes in her body will be mainly in dimension?

Is it when her brain waves are detected after 40 days? Or is it around three weeks when her primitive heart beats?

Can there be only one true line of demarcation?

One finite measurable point in time that differentiates life from non-life?

Womanhood from non-womanhood?

Rights from no right?

Is it the moment of conception —that point when all of the above is set in motion? That precise moment when a separate human individual, with her own genetic code, needing only food, water, and oxygen, comes into existence?

Indeed, It is at that point, like the infant, the child, the adolescent, that the conceptus is a being who is becoming, not a becoming striving toward being.

She is not a potential life, she is a life with great potential.

She is not the mother, she is another —a somebody other than the mother.

A woman, however beautiful, however complex when fully grown, begins life as a single cell, a zygote—that stage in human development through which we all pass.

She fulfills "the four criteria necessary to all life —metabolism, growth, reaction to stimuli, and reproduction.

Her genetic makeup is established at conception, determining to a great extent her own individual, physical characteristics: her eyes, her hair, her skin color, bone structure, her gender.

So let us not be confused, she did not come from a zygote — she once was a zygote. She did not come from an embryo, she once was an embryo. She did not come from a fetus, she once was a fetus. She did not come from a little girl — she once was a little girl.

When is a woman not a woman? The answer is absolute, non-negotiable. To argue against would be to ignore the innate, the fact of the matter. The answer can never be a matter of opinion or choice. This is not a metaphysical contention. This is biology 101.

The answer is scientifically self-evident —as inherent as the inalienable.

Therefore, the ability to pursue happiness is contingent upon liberty —her liberty, and her freedom is solely dependent upon the mother of all human rights... the right of life.

Respectfully,

Gary Cherone—June 1999

Eddie Vedder never responded. It didn’t stop Cherone from seeking an answer. He made a second attempt as Vedder continued to promote his left-wing views.

What About the 98.6 Degree Angle?

Another Letter to Eddie Vedder

The vast majority of people who support abortion take that position with the firm conviction that life does not begin at conception That being said...

If one personally felt "terminating pregnancy is not an easy thing" but was the right of the individual to make that "decision”

Is the life within the mother's womb a human person?

If the answer is no, it is not a human person, why would one feel it "is not an easy thing" to do?

If the answer is yes, it is a human person, why would one advocate "terminating" it?

If the answer is I don't know, if it is, or isn't a human person, how many more "decision(s)" would one make in an uncertain "situation"?

If the unborn is not a human person, no justification for abortion is necessary, however...

If the unborn is a human person, no justification for abortion is adequate.

Nearly all arguments for abortion are based on the faulty premise that the unborn are not fully human.

Respectfully,

Gary Cherone—January 22, 2001

H/T Bungalow Bill

Old People

This is from:
David McClure from the Dallas News Community Opinion page.

$5.37. That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bueno said to me.
I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and
something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid
a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change
when the kid with the Emo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever
said to me. He said, "It's OK ! I'll just give you the senior citizen
discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change
hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully. I
stood there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet, a mere child! Senior
citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong
with Emo! Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil.
Old? Me?

I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I
strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front
of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?


"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter
disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind. "Leaving keys
behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"

I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the
ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried
another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging
from my rearview mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview
mirror !

Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back
seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten
doughnut on the dashboard. Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I
flew out of the alien vehicle. Moments later I was speeding out of the
parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my
life.

That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My
stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it
was nowhere to be found!

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the
restaurant one final time. There Emo stood, draped in youth and black
nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"but
all I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?" At this
point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and
then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

Emo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young
lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding
up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my
truck by mistake !" I took the food and drink from the little boy and
sheepishly apologized.

She offered these kind words: "It's OK ! My grandfather does stuff like
this all the time!"

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I
was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius.. And no, I told the officer,
I'm not too old to be driving this fast!

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I
handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat
in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanky.

The good news was I had successfully found my way home !
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Just in case you weren't feeling too old today.


The people who are starting college this fall were born in 1991.


They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.


Their lifetime has always included AIDS.


The CD was introduced two years before they were born.


They have always had an answering machine.


They have always had cable..


Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.


Popcorn has always been microwaved.


They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.


They don't know who Mork was or Mindy or where they was from..


They never heard: 'Where's the Beef?', 'I'd walk a mile for a Camel ',
or 'de plane Boss, de plane'.

McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.


They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.


Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list.


Notice the larger type?


That's for those of us who have trouble reading.


P.S.. Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

Just remember though, all the things people take for granted today were invented by all of us 'old fogies'!

Monday Musings 10/01/18

Play on Words

-- How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit? Unique Up On It.

-- How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit? Tame Way, Unique Up On It.

-- How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest? They Take The Psycho Path

-- What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall? Dam!

-- What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long? Polaroid's

-- What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work? A Stick

-- What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours? Nacho Cheese.

-- What Do You Call Santa's Helpers? Subordinate Clauses.

-- What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow? Spoiled Milk.

-- What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire? Frostbite.

-- What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches? A Nervous Wreck.

-- Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down? Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

Trickle Down.....

PSA (Publice Service Announcement)/Burglar's

There is some good information in this little note. Hope it helps someone.

Linda

13 Things Your Burglar Won't Tell You: 1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator. 2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier. 3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste ... and taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have. 4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it. 5. If it snows while you're out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway. 6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don't let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it's set. That makes it too easy. 7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom-and your jewelry. It's not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too. 8. It's raining, you're fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door-understandable. But understand this: I don't take a day off because of bad weather. 9. I always knock first. If you answer, I'll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don't take me up on it.) 10. Do you really think I won't look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet. 11. Helpful hint: I almost never go into kids' rooms. 12. You're right: I won't have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it's not bolted down, I'll take it with me. 13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you're reluctant to leave your TV on while you're out of town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real television. (Find it at faketv.com.) 8 MORE THINGS A BURGLAR WON'T TELL YOU: 1. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook. 2. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors. 3. I'll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he'll stop what he's doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn't hear it again, he'll just go back to what he was doing. It's human nature. 4. I'm not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it? 5. I love looking in your windows. I'm looking for signs that you're home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I'd like. I'll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets. 6. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It's easier than you think to look up your address. 7. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it's an invitation. 8. If you don't answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in. Sources: Convicted burglars in North Carolina, Oregon, California, and Kentucky; security consultant Chris McGoey, who runs crimedoctor.com; and Richard T. Wright, a criminology professor at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, who interviewed 105 burglars for his book Burglars on the Job. Protection for you and your home and your car If you don't have a gun, here's a more humane way to wreck someone's evil plans for you. I guess I can get rid of the baseball bat. Wasp Spray A friend who is a receptionist in a church in a high risk area was concerned about someone coming into the office on Monday to rob them when they were counting the collection. She asked the local police department about using pepper spray and they recommended to her that she get a can of wasp spray instead. The wasp spray, they told her, can shoot up to twenty feet away and is a lot more accurate, while with the pepper spray, they have to get too close to you and could overpower you. The wasp spray temporarily blinds an attacker until they get to the hospital for an antidote. She keeps a can on her desk in the office and it doesn't attract attention from people like a can of pepper spray would. She also keeps one nearby at home for home protection... Thought this was interesting and might be of use. Wasp And Hornet Spray On the heels of a break in and beating that left an elderly woman in Toledo dead, self defense experts have a tip that could save your life. Val Glinka teaches self-defense to students at Sylvania Southview High School. For decades, he's suggested putting a can of wasp and hornet spray near your door or bed. Glinka says, "This is better than anything I can teach them." Glinka considers it inexpensive, easy to find, and more effective than mace or pepper spray. The cans typically shoot 20 to 30 feet; so if someone tries to break into your home, Glinka says, "spray the culprit in the eyes". It's a tip he's given to students for decades. It's also one he wants everyone to hear. If you're looking for protection, Glinka says look to the spray. "That's going to give you a chance to call the police; maybe get out." Maybe even save a life. Please share this with all the people in your life.

Happy New Year...again!

No matter how badly last year treated you, just walk tall with your head high. This is a brand new year!

No Dieting For Me!!!!

Appreciate What You Have, and Who You Are

Phenomenal Young Man

Sometimes we think life is hard and it gets us down. Ha, watch this and it will give you a new perspective. I guarantee that this phenomenal young man will put you in a better frame of mind for this day.

Perfect video for this time of year...Will make you appreciate what you have.

"U"

THE U IN JESUS

Before U were thought of or time had begun,
God stuck U in the name of His Son..

And each time U pray, you'll see it's true,
You can't spell out JesUs and not include U.
You're a pretty big part of His wonderful name,
For U, He was born; that's why He came.

And His great love for U is the reason He died.
It even takes U to spell crUcified.

Isn't it thrilling and splendidly grand
He rose from the dead, with U in His plan?

The stones split away, the gold trUmpet blew,
And this word resUrrection is spelled with a U.

When JesUs left earth at His Upward ascension,
He felt there was one thing He just had to mention.

"Go into the world and tell them it's true
That I love them all - Just like I love U."

So many great people are spelled with a U,
Don't they have a right to know JesUs too?

It all depends now on what U will do,
He'd like them to know,
But it all starts with U.

Will YOU pass it on.

Observations on Growing Older

~Your kids are becoming you...and you don't like them ...but your grandchildren are perfect! ~Going out is good. Coming home is better! ~When people say you look "Great"... they add "for your age!" ~When you needed the discount you paid full price. Now you get discounts on everything .. movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired to use them. ~You forget names ... but it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!! ~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds. ~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything .... especially golf. ~Your husband is counting on you to remember things you don't remember. ~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore. ~Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than he does in bed. It's called his "pre-sleep". ~Remember when your mother said "Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"? Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident! ~You used to say, "I hope my kids GET married .. Now, "I hope they STAY married!" ~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch.. ~When GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem ... were unheard of, and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table. ~You used to use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..."when?" ??? ~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere. ~Your husband has a night out with the guys but he's home by 9:00 P.M. ...next week it will be 8:30 P.M. ~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it. ~Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!! ~What used to be freckles are now liver spots. ~Everybody whispers. ~Now that your husband has retired ... you'd give anything if he'd find a job! ~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet ... 2 of which you will never wear. ~~~~But old is good in some things: old songs old movies And best of all OLD FRIENDS!! Love you, "OLD FRIEND!" Send this on to other "Old Friends!" and let them laugh in AGREEMENT!!!

The Short of a Story!

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job.

Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have.

Uptime America

H/T to geeeeZ!

Monday Musings 10/01/04

Do I owe my Josh an apology?

The Birth Order

Your Clothes:

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swallowing Coins:

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!!

GRANDCHILDREN: ...God's reward for allowing your children to live.