Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Teacher Applicant

After being interviewed by the school administration, the teaching prospect said, "Let me see if I've got this right? You want me to go into that room with all those kids, and do the following:

1. Correct their disruptive behavior
2. Observe them for signs of abuse
3. Monitor their dress habits
4. Censor their T-shirt messages
5. Instill in them a love for learning
6. Check their backpacks for weapons
7. Wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted
8. Raise their sense of self esteem and personal
9. Teach them patriotism and good citizenship,
sportsmanship and fair play
10. Teach them how to register to vote
11. Balance a checkbook
12. Apply for a job
13. You want me to check their heads for lice
14. Recognize signs of anti-social behavior
15. Make sure that they all pass the state exams
16. Provide them with an equal education
regardless of their handicaps
17. Communicate regularly with their parents in
English and Spanish by letter, telephone,
conferences, email, homework hotline, web
page, midterm newsletters, and report card
18. You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk,
a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books,
a big smile, and a starting salary that
qualifies me for food stamps
19. You want me to do all this and then you tell

-- Submitted by Ed Bradley


Anonymous said...

The teaching profession is totally undervalued - I wouldn't have the strength to do what they do day in day out! What they do in their spare time is surely their own business?

Phil said...

Then try that as a substitute teacher. The sub has no idea of the background to the students and the behavior that they will display. But it neat when the students remember you when you are no longer in capacity of a substitute teacher.

Pasadena Closet Conservative said...

I hope there's a lot of clandestine praying in our public schools.

Anonymous said...

You got this one right.
Great job... Keep em coming..