Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable? Because it's all heart.
What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? Forget-me-nuts.
What did the letter say to the stamp? You send me.
What did the stamp say to the envelope? I'm stuck on you.
What is a vampire's sweetheart called? His ghoul-friend.
Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because it couldn't get a date.
What is a ram's favorite song? I only have eyes for ewe, Dear
What happens when you fall in love with a french chef? You get buttered up.
What is the difference between a girl who is sick of her boyfriend and a sailor who falls into the ocean? One is bored over a man the other is a man overboard.
If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her? Antelope.
What did the light bulb say to the switch? You turn me on.
Did Adam and Eve ever have a date? No, but they had an apple.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?
What did the valentine card say to the stamp? Stick with me and we'll go places!
What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day? Ughs and kisses!
What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine's Day? I Love Ewe!
What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine's Day? Owl be yours!
What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day? Cauliflowers!
What do you call a very small Valentine? A Valentiny!
What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine's Day? I'm nuts about you!
What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel on Valentine's Day? You're nuts so bad yourself!
What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive.
What did the bat say to his girlfriend? You're fun to hang around with.
What did one light bulb say to the other? I love you a whole watt!
What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? I love you a ton!
What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? I'm sweet on you!
What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day? Hog and kisses!
Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine? He fell in love with a pin cushion!
What did the pencil say to the paper? I dot my i's on you!
What did one pickle say to the other? You mean a great dill to me.
Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day? Sure, they're very scent-imental!