Monday, August 24, 2009

Monday Musings 09/8/24


A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.

'Is it true,' she wanted to know, 'that the medication

you prescribed has to be taken or the rest of my life?'

'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,

'I 'm wondering, then,

just how serious is my condition

because this prescription is marked



An older gentleman was

on the operating table

awaiting surgery

and he insisted that his son,

a renowned surgeon,

perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia,

he asked to speak to his son.

'Yes, Dad, what is it? '

'Don't be nervous, son;

do your best

and just remember,

if it doesn't go well,

if something happens to me,

your mother

is going to come and

live with you and your wife....'



Eventually you will reach a point

when you stop lying about your age

and start bragging about it.


The older we get,

the fewer things

seem worth waiting in line for.


Some people

try to turn back their odometers.

Not me!

I want people to know 'why'

I look this way.

I've traveled a long way

and some of the roads weren't paved.


When you are dissatisfied

and would like to go back to youth,

think of Algebra.


You know you are getting old when

everything either dries up or leaks.


First you forget names,

then you forget faces.

Then you forget to pull up your zipper

It's worse when

you forget to pull it down.


Long ago

when men cursed

and beat the ground with sticks,

it was called witchcraft....

Today, it's called golf.


'Lord, Keep Your arm around my shoulder,

and, Your other hand over my mouth!


Penny said...

Sorry I haven't commented in a while. My sidebar has not been updating when someone posts something new. Great jokes the last 3 posts. I've needed a laugh since I started this new school with the mountain of paperwork. ;)

Linda said...

That's okay, Penny.
I understand busyness! We just got back from a fast weekend to NE to see the kids and an old college friend. I'm going to blog about our experiences soon.

Our son started teaching at a Christian school, full time this past week. He has a lot of stuff to get done too. The job opened up the week school started, so he started out behind, but I'm sure he'll catch up.

Have a great week!

Carole said...

Here's something related to your golf one: (Careful, it's Robin Williams & he doesn't have the cleanest mouth :D)