Some Funnies for Your Weekend!

Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make
him wag his tail.

Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in
deep water.

How come it takes so little time for a child who is
afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to
stay out all night?

Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than
everyone else looks?

There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong
number at 4 a.m.--like, it could be the right number.

No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is
winning.

I've reached the age where "happy hour" is a nap.

Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have
thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)

Life isn't tied with a bow--but it's still a gift.