God, In One Minute, 41 Seconds!

For my 400th post, I think this is a great one. Enjoy!

Monday Musings 10/04/26

Oops!

One!

Sunday Blessing!

As the unknown poet wrote:

One song can spark a moment,
One flower can wake the dream.
One tree can start a forest,
One bird can herald spring.
One smile begins a friendship,
One handclasp lifts a soul.
One star can guide a ship at sea,
One word can frame the goal.
One vote can change a nation,
One sunbeam lights a room.
One candle wipes out darkness,
One laugh will conquer gloom.
One step must start each journey,
One word must start each prayer.
One hope will raise our spirits,
One touch can show you care.
One voice can speak with wisdom,
One heart can know what's true.
One life can make the difference,
You see it's up to YOU!

As Edward Everett Hale said, "I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something I can do."

Bad Day x 1347

A pitbull was in his backyard in southern California , minding his own business, when a porcupine invaded his territory. The brave pit bull immediately challenged the porcupine!

Bad decision... The porcupine won this short contest.

A vet sedated the dog and then removed a total of 1,347 quills.The dog survived and has, hopefully, learned a valuable lesson.

Now, tell me you had a bad day!

H/T : Cube

Mixing Colors

Do you remember in grade school how you could mix the primary colors to get other colors? Then you could mix those colors to get others? Well, here is a beginner lesson for you today.

Scroll Down:

A Tribute to Dixie Carter

H/T Leticia @ MyDailyTrek

and my sister, Lana who gave me the site!

The Story of My Life!

Computer Tech

SCHOOL BUS IN JAPAN

SCHOOL BUS IN INDIA

But which country do you get when you call tech

support for a problem with your computer?

The Humor of My Family

We are going to have a family reunion this summer, and these are the responses I received from my children about accommodations for the weekend. Of course, mom wasn't such a slacker, either! We had a lot of fun with this. I hope you will enjoy our conversations.

C: I'd like to take this opportunity to reserve my room at the Red Roof Inn of Mingo, please. I'm not sure who all will be with me, but possibly 3 :oj

Me: Pleased to be assured, Madam. Your rooms have been reserved. Would you like to guarantee this with a credit card?

All parties have been notified about the event. Mr. J. Goossen received the original invite, and the reserving party noticed that you, and Mr. P. Goossen were omitted from the list.

Our sincere apologies!

Sincerely,

L.R. Goossen, MGR

Red Roofed Inn or Mingo

C: Thank you, kindly, for the forwardization of the original invitation. I will reserve with a credit card number... I believe I have your Discover Card number around her somewhere!

:oj

Me: I’m sorry, Ma’m,

That credit card is no longer available. Please try another!

L.R. Goossen, MGR

Red Roofed Inn, Mingo

P: We also would like to reserve a room or two for SEVEN! (what were we thinking?!?!?!?)

pj

ps we do not know what a credit card is so please put it on my account.

Me: Dear Mr. PJ Goossen,

I have a room especially for you, and your lovely family. Seven? Wow! I don’t know what you were thinking, but I’d assume you were thinking about what you were thinking when you were thinking. Or something like that!

Your account seems to be in arrears, so would you kindly please correct that? I think some hugs and kisses from some short ones would pay up the account quite nicely.

Yours sincerely,

LR Goossen, MGR

Red Roofed Inn, Mingo

C: No worries... I'll share that Discover Card number I have with you! :oj

What were you thinking?? HEY! This will probably be the first time I'll get to see your "little tiebreaker". oooo this makes the trip even MORE exciting!

cj

J: For some reason I have been copied on this string of emails. However, I need to reserve for eight (8) if there is room in the inn for July 2 – 4, 2010 . I have check prices and yours seems to be the best deal for provided information. My travel agent is not available so regrettably I will make the reservations myself…I hate to fit this stuff in my busy schedule.

I do have some questions about the accommodations:

1. Do you have down feather pillows? I would hate to damage my perfect hair. And there should be a chocolate for us every evening on my pillow.

2. Down feather beds? My back prefers a good firm bed.

3. Clean sheets and towel every evening…I get this at other Hotels.

4. I would like a full breakfast bar in the morning for the price…I think it should be included. Maybe even lunch and supper with some snacks and deserts.

5. Is there a good view of the ocean or mountains?

6. A private wash room?

7. I do not want an exercise facility because I prefer this to be a relaxing weekend with no exercise what-so-ever.

8. Free Wi-Fi. I will have to keep up on business.

9. And will I have points added to my Preferred Membership Rewards card for future accommodations.

I am having problems finding a flight to your city! Where is the closest airport?

Do you rent vehicles or do you provide a shuttle to the events listed and a pick up from the airport? Please advise.

Thank you

Josh Goossen

Regional Operations Specialist

Me: Dear Mr. J. Goossen

I am pleased to inform you that you have booked the last available room for said weekend. The accommodations should meet your expectations. We have some problems with WiFy, but I’m sure the festivities we’ve planned for your visit will more than make up for any shortcomings in that department.

We do have down pillows…they are down in your room. We will have an experienced hair dresser for your personal needs.

We will provide a chocolate something for your pillow each evening.

Your sheets will be clean when you arrive, and we will let you make them up to your specification. The towels are clean, at least when you start the weekend.

We will have a full breakfast bar. We have some delicious varieties of cold cereal, and milk, and juice, and coffee. There will be some toast and butter if needed. Lunch and dinner will be ala carte.

There is an unobstructed view of either the mountains to the west, or the ocean to the east. I’m sure the scenery will be to your liking.

There is a private wash room if you get there early enough to lock the door before the other guests make their way there.

Points will be double for your visit.

I do apologize for the lack of airline service at this time. We do have an airport, but the service isn’t what it should be. Please rent your vehicle at the closest town, and drive.

We look forward to your stay at the Red Roofed Inn of Mingo.

Sincerely,

L.R. Goossen, MGR

God's Rosebud

A new minister was walking with an older, more seasoned minister in the garden one day. Feeling a bit insecure about what God had for him to do, he was asking the older preacher for some advice. The older preacher walked up to a rosebush and handed the young preacher a rosebud and told him to open it without tearing off any petals. The young preacher looked in disbelief at the older preacher and was trying to figure out what a rosebud could possibly have to do with his wanting to know the will of God for his life and ministry. But because of his great respect for the older preacher, he proceeded to try to unfold the rose, while keeping every petal intact. It wasn't long before he realized how impossible this was to do. Noticing the younger preacher's inability to unfold the rosebud without tearing it, the older preacher began to recite the following poem... It is only a tiny rosebud, A flower of God's design; But I cannot unfold the petals With these clumsy hands of mine. The secret of unfolding flowers Is not known to such as I. GOD opens this flower so easily, But in my hands they die. If I cannot unfold a rosebud, This flower of God's design, Then how can I have the wisdom To unfold this life of mine? So I'll trust in God for leading Each moment of my day. I will look to God for guidance In each step of the way. The path that lies before me, Only my Lord knows. I'll trust God to unfold the moments, Just as He unfolds the rose. Please share this poem with a friend if you enjoyed being reminded to let go and let God unfold your life.

Lots of truth here!

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for
everyone.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his
situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping
for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a
good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".

H/T geeeez

Being a Mother

I received this from my daughter this morning. I've read it before, and you probably have too, but it reminds us of our loved ones. It was my MIL's 89th birthday this last week, and I was so sad to see that only 4 of her daughters-in-law remembered her day with a card. There were no cards from her immediate family members. I don't think she was aware of that, but I hope the children and grandchildren remember her life, and what she has meant for all of us. She is a very special lady!

After 17 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, 'I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.'

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been alone for 20 years, but the demands of my work and my two boys had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

'What's wrong, aren't you well,' she asked?

My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

'I thought it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,' I responded.

'Just the two of us.'

She thought about it for a moment, and then said, 'I would like that very much.'

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last birthday on November 19th.

She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. 'I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed,' she said, as she got into that new white van. 'They can't wait to hear about our date'.

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.

'It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,' she said. 'Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor,' I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said, 'I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.'

I agreed.

'How was your dinner date?' asked my wife when I got home.

'Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,' I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her.

Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said:

'I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife.You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son.'

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: 'I LOVE YOU' and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family.

Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till 'some other time.'

---o0o---

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby.....

Somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, 'normal' is history.

* * *

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct ...

somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

* * *

Somebody said being a mother is boring...

somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.

* * *

Somebody said if you're a'good' mother, your child will 'turn out good'....

somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

* * *

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother...

somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.

* * *

Somebody said you can't love the second child as much as you love the first ...

somebody doesn't have two children.

* * *

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery....

somebody never watched her 'baby' get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten ...

or on a plane headed for military 'boot camp.'

* * *

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married....

somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.

* * *

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home.....

somebody never had grandchildren.

* * *

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her....

somebody isn't a mother.

---o0o---

This is to all the 'mothers' in your life and to everyone who ever had a mother.

This isn't just about being a mother; it's about appreciating the people in your life while you have them.... no matter who that person is.

The Ross Sisters

This will make you realize, you aren't young anymore! I remember doing cartwheels and handstands when I was young, but......

Could you do this?

Beauty Tips by Audrey Hepburn

For Attractive Lips: Speak words of kindness.

For Lovely Eyes: Seek out the good in people.

For a Slim Figure: Share your food with the hungry.

For Beautiful Hair: Let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For Poise: Walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed: Never throw anybody out.

Remember, If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The Beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The Beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The Beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years-only GROWS!

Lemon Pickers Wanted

Before you read this, I want you to know that this is NOT me!

The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job. The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this: "Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, I have!

"I've been divorced three times, owned 2 Toyota 's, and I voted for Obama.

He's Alive

Dolly Parton - He's Alive

The gates and doors were barred
And all the windows fastened down
I spent the night in sleeplessness
And rose at every sound
Half in hopeless sorrow

And half in fear the day
Would find the soldiers breakin' through
To drag us all away
And just before the sunrise
I heard something at the wall
The gate began to rattle
And a voice began to call
I hurried to the window
Looked down into the street
Expecting swords and torches
And the sound of soldiers' feet

But there was no one there but Mary
So I went down to let her in
John stood there beside me
As she told me where she'd been
She said they've moved Him in the night
And none of us know where
The stone's been rolled away
And now His body isn't there

We both ran towards the garden
Then John ran on ahead
We found the stone and empty tomb
Just the way that Mary said
But the winding sheet they wrapped Him in
Was just an empty shell
And how or where they'd taken Him
Was more than I could tell

Oh something strange had happened there
Just what I did not know
John believed a miracle
But I just turned to go
Circumstance and speculation
Couldn't lift me very high
'Cause I'd seen them crucify Him
Then I saw Him die

Back inside the house again
The guilt and anguish came
Everything I'd promised Him
Just added to my shame
When at last it came to choices
I denied I knew His name
And even if He was alive
It wouldn't be the same

But suddenly the air was filled
With a strange and sweet perfume
Light that came from everywhere
Drove shadows from the room
And Jesus stood before me
With His arms held open wide
And I fell down on my knees
And I just clung to Him and cried

Then He raised me to my feet
And as I looked into His eyes
The love was shining out from Him
Like sunlight from the skies
Guilt in my confusion
Disappeared in sweet release
And every fear I ever had
Just melted into peace

He's alive yes He's alive
Yes He's alive and I'm forgiven
Heaven's gates are open wide
He's alive yes He's alive
Oh He's alive and I'm forgiven
Heaven's gates are open wide
He's alive He's alive
Hallelujah He's alive
He's alive and I'm forgiven
Heaven's gates are open wide
He's alive He's alive He's alive
I believe it He's alive
Sweet Jesus

HEALTH CARE EXPLAINED BY MAXINE

Let me get this straight......we're trying to pass a health care plan written by a committee whose chairman says he doesn't understand it, passed by a Congress that hasn't read it but exempts themselves from it, to be signed by a president that also is exempt from it and hasn't read it and who smokes, with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes, all to be overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and financed by a country that's broke.

What could possibly go wrong?

This sounds like an April Fool's Day Joke, but we aren't laughing!