I just wanted to let all of you (both of you?) who read my blog, that I've been having trouble with it.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
I just wanted to let all of you (both of you?) who read my blog, that I've been having trouble with it.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
This cartoon originated nearly 3 months ago in Scotland ..
It looks like most of the world is laughing at our nation's leaders.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
The first Ten Commandments are the hardest.
People who are wrapped up in themselves are overdressed.
An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.
A word of advice...don't give it.
If we made it illegal, do you think more people would vote?
I am logged in...therefore, I am.
A journey of a hundred miles starts with an argument over how to load the car.
Justice is blind and in some cases...deaf and dumb.
To belittle is to be little.
When fear knocks at the door, and you answer, there will be no one there.
Poverty is a condition with but one advantage, it doesn't take much to improve your lot.
The first rule of tinkering is to save all the parts.
I'm retiring in Mexico. Sunny, affordable and no predatory reverse mortgages.
A pessimist is a man who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
Management's job is to keep 'em too busy to look for other jobs.
Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.
Why are lawyers not sworn to tell the truth like all the witnesses in a jury trial?
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
44 years ago today, our precious daughter, Carole, joined our family. She is such a delight! We praise the Lord for her! She is a great daughter, wife, mother, grandmother, (does that make me a 'great-grandmother'?) and and especially wonderful auntie to all the nieces and nephews.
Have a wonderful day, sweet girl!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
To the students and faculty of our high school:
I am your new principal, and honored to be so. There is no greater calling than to teach young people.
I would like to apprise you of some important changes coming to our school. I am making these changes because I am convinced that most of the ideas that have dominated public education in America have worked against you, against your teachers, and against our country.
First, this school will no longer honor race or ethnicity. I could not care less if your racial makeup is black, brown, red, yellow, or white. I could not care less if your origins are African, Latin American, Asian, or European, or if your ancestors arrived here on the Mayflower or on slave ships.
The only identity I care about, the only one this school will recognize, is your individual identity — your character, your scholarship, your humanity. And the only national identity this school will care about is American. This is an American public school, and American public schools were created to make better Americans.
If you wish to affirm an ethnic, racial, or religious identity through school, you will have to go elsewhere. We will end all ethnicity-, race-, and non-American-nationality-based celebrations. They undermine the motto of America, one of its three central values — e pluribus unum, “from many, one.” And this school will be guided by America’s values.
That includes all after-school clubs. I will not authorize clubs that divide students based on any identities. This includes race, language, religion, sexual orientation, or whatever else may become in vogue in a society divided by political correctness.
Your clubs will be based on interests and passions, not blood, ethnic, racial, or other physically defined ties. Those clubs just cultivate narcissism — an unhealthy preoccupation with the self — while the purpose of education is to get you to think beyond yourself. So we will have clubs that transport you to the wonders and glories of art, music, astronomy, languages you do not already speak, carpentry, and more. If the only extracurricular activities you can imagine being interested in are those based on ethnic or racial or sexual identity, that means that little outside of yourself really interests you.
Second, I am uninterested in whether English is your native language. My only interest in terms of language is that you leave this school speaking and writing English as fluently as possible. The English language has united America’s citizens for more than 200 years, and it will unite us at this school. It is one of the indispensible reasons this country of immigrants has always come to be one country. And if you leave this school without excellent English-language skills, I will have been remiss in my duty to ensure that you are prepared to compete successfully in the American job market. We will learn other languages here — it is deplorable that most Americans only speak English — but if you want classes taught in your native language rather than in English, this is not your school.
Third, because I regard learning as a sacred endeavor, everything in this school will reflect learning’s elevated status. This means, among other things, that you and your teachers will dress accordingly. Many people in our society dress more formally for a meal at a nice restaurant than they do for church or school. These people have their priorities backwards. Therefore, there will be a formal dress code at this school.
Fourth, no obscene language will be tolerated anywhere on this school’s property — whether in class, in the hallways, or at athletic events. If you can’t speak without using the F-word, you can’t speak. By obscene language I mean the words banned by the Federal Communications Commission plus epithets such as the N-word, even when used by one black student to address another, or “bitch,” even when addressed by a girl to a girlfriend. It is my intent that by the time you leave this school, you will be among the few of your age to distinguish instinctively between the elevated and the degraded, the holy and the obscene.
Fifth, we will end all self-esteem programs. In this school self-esteem will be attained in only one way (the way people attained it until the state of California decided otherwise a generation ago) — by earning it. One immediate consequence is that there will be one valedictorian, not eight.
Sixth, and last, I am reorienting the school toward academics and away from politics and propaganda. No more time will be devoted to scaring you about smoking and caffeine, or terrifying you about sexual harassment or global warming. No more semesters will be devoted to condom-wearing and teaching you to regard sexual relations as only or primarily a health issue. There will be no more attempts to convince you that you are a victim because you are not white, or not male, or not heterosexual, or not Christian. We will have failed if any one of you graduates from this school and does not consider him or herself inordinately lucky — to be alive and to be an American.
Now, please stand and join me in the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag of our country. As many of you do not know the words, your teachers will hand them out to you.
What do you think of this? Anything you'd change or add or delete?
Sunday, July 18, 2010
BILLY SAYS: "WORKS FOR KETCHUP
You knew it was coming, and you still smiled.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
WOW....! DON'T MESS WITH THE CRAB
How would you like to find this on the side of your trash can!!!!!!! (or anywhere!!!!) --
The coconut crab is a large edible land crab related to the hermit crab, and are found in the tropical Indian and Pacific Oceans .. They eat coconuts for a living! How would you like to be on an island and come across a crab that is more than 3 feet from head to tail and weighs up to 40 pounds, with a pair of large pincers strong enough to open coconuts! They can climb trees too, but they only eat coconuts that have already fallen to the ground. Coconut crab meat has been considered a local delicacy.
And you're afraid of spiders??!!!!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
"Congressional Reform Act of 2010." It would
contain eight provisions, all of which would probably be strongly endorsed
by those who drafted the Constitution and the Bill of Rights.
I know many of you will say "this is impossible." Let me remind you,
Congress has the lowest approval rating of any entity in Government. Now is
the time when Americans must join together to reform Congress, the entity
that represents us.
We need to get a Senator to introduce this bill in the US Senate and a
Representative to introduce a similar bill in the US House.
Congressional Reform Act of 2010
1. Term Limits.
12 years only, one of the possible options below..
A. Two Six-year Senate terms
B. Six Two-year House terms
C. One Six-year Senate term and three Two-Year House terms
2. No Tenure / No Pension.
A Congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when
out of office.
3. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security.
All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social
Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social Security
system, and Congress participates with the American people.
4. Congresspersons can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans
5. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay
will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.
6. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the
same health care system as the American people.
7. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American
8. All contracts with past and present Congressmen are void effective
The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen.
Congressmen made all these contracts for themselves.
Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers
envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to
If you agree with the above, pass it on. If not, just delete.
Do you think you can pass the CIVICS TEST?
Rule #2. The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1)
Rule #3. Sorry, you won't make $50,000 a year right out of high school. And you won't be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label.
Rule #4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he is not going ask you how feel about it.
Rule #5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Edward Cullen all weekend.
Rule #6. It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it or you'll sound like a Gen Xer.
Rule #7. Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation try delousing the closet in your bedroom.
Rule #8. Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers off. Nor even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don't get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on.
Rule #9. Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the sandwich shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be perky or as polite as Selena Gomez.
Rule #10. Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.
Rule #11. Enjoy this while you can. Sure, parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be kid. Maybe you should start now.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
McDonald's Job Application
This reportedly is an actual job application a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida...and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg B. (Name withheld to protect the guilty)
SEX: Not yet.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: I hated it
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries
Friday, July 2, 2010
A real man is a woman’s best friend. He will
never stand her up and never let her down.
He will reassure her when she feels insecure
and comfort her after a bad day.
He will inspire her to do things she never
thought she could do; to live without fear
and forget regret. He will enable her to
express her deepest emotions and give in to
her most intimate desires. He will make sure
she always feels as though she’s the most
beautiful woman in the room and will enable
her to be the most confident, sexy,
seductive, and invincible.
No wait… sorry… I’m thinking of wine.
Not that I've ever tried this!