Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
I was a little shocked by the pictures when it penetrated my brain as to how long she's been around.
This old gal gives new meaning to the phrase "Long Live the Queen"
Friday, February 26, 2010
You are watching The Bachelor and you begin to crave something for a snack.
You open the fridge in hopes of finding something that will satisfy your craving.
You begin digging through packages, foil, plastic container, etc.
You even do a sniff test of a few questionable items.Need help identifying the food in your fridge?
How can you tell if it is safe to eat?
As a public service, I am going to help you avoid death via food poisoning.
Before digesting, complete one or more of the following procedures:
THE GAG TEST
Anything that makes you gag is spoiled.
When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.
Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt.
Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese.
Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese.
Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can’t get any more spoiled than it is already.
Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you think it is blue cheese.
If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled.
Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled.
This is NOT a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away perfectly good food so that you’ll spend more on groceries.
Perhaps you’d benefit by having a calendar in your kitchen.
If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.
Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable “spots” that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread.
Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are a good indication that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment.
Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.
It never spoils.
It is generally a good rule of thumb that cereal should be discarded when it is two years or longer beyond the expiration date.
Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can’t get it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without Comet.
Romaine lettuce is spoiled when it turns liquid.
Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball should be disposed of. Carefully.
Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.
Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.
If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.
You know it is well beyond prime when you’re tempted to discard the Tupperware along with the food.
Generally speaking, Tupperware containers should not burp when you OPEN them.
GENERAL RULE OF THUMB:
Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a hamster.
Keep a hamster in or nearby your refrigerator to gauge this.
H/T to Missy
H/T to Missy
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Why Big Families Might Be Easier
by Matthew Archbold
A woman said to me recently that my five children were very well behaved. It’s one of the best things I can hear so I thanked her. Then she asked me “how do you do it with so many?”
I told her that I don’t think I’d be a very good parent of one child or two. She didn’t believe my answer but honest to goodness, I sometimes think that having many children is easier than just one.
Why big families are easier:
Patience. I never have to teach patience. My children know that I can’t drop everything for them if I have a baby in my arms.
Work Ethic. My children have learned to work because there are always chores to do in a small house packed with little messy lunatics. And they all learn quickly that sometimes they have to clean up a mess even though they didn’t make it.
Humility. My children have learned it’s not always their turn. They’ve accepted they can’t always get their way because other people have to get their way sometimes. They’ve learned that some children are better at certain things than they are.
Foreign language skills. You can learn a lot of Spanish by watching ten years of Dora the Explorer that you just can’t pick up in two. And now with the Diego spin off I’m practically fluent.
Laughter. The children have learned to laugh at the insane non sequiturs of younger siblings. They’ve learned that laughing just feels better when seven people are doing it along with you.
Competition. Do I really need to go into this? Everything is a competition in big families. The children compete over who reads faster, who drinks their milk faster, who gets to the bathroom first…etc. Everything is a competition and they’re all keeping score.
Balance. The floor of the front room of my home is a minefield of toys and childhood paraphernalia. Just walking through the room requires great skill and balance. I’m absolutely convinced my two year old will be a favorite for Gold on the balance beam in the 2016 Olympics. (She might have to lay off the cookies a little but I’ll deal with that later.)
Life isn’t fair. Sometimes you just give it to the baby because you want a little quiet. Not all the time. But sometimes.
Just say “No.” Being able to say “no” may be the most undervalued skill in this world. The need to be liked is pervasive. The need to be cool even more so. Having brothers and sisters teaches children to say “no” about 143 times a day. It’s a good skill.
Praying. They learn that nothing beats praying together as a family.
Nature/Nurture. Having many children has taught me that nature has a lot more to do with who my kids are than nurture. This is helpful, especially when your children misbehave you don’t have to feel bad about it. Just say “Stupid nature!!!” and blame your spouse’s genes.
Namecalling. You can occasionally call your child by the wrong name and still not be considered a terrible parent. They know who you mean just from your tone. Sometimes if you need something done you can call the wrong name and someone will still show up. That helps.
Spying. My children have learned that they can’t get away with anything. I have spies who look a lot like them who are willing to drop the dime on them for anything. Even at school I’ve got a child in just about every grade. If they do something I’ll hear. That keeps them nervous. And I like keeping my kids a little nervous.
Friendship. The children have many friends. They’ve got girly friends, crying friends, fun loving friends, consoling friends, and crazy friends. And they all have the same last name. And they’ll be there forever for each other. No matter what.
Love. I think my children have learned to love because there are others around them to love and who love them. I honestly can think of no better way to teach children to love than siblings.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster.
Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.
It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking.
and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the food channel and it really works.
a microwave next to a cup of water.
put layers around the plants, overlapping as you go; cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic; they will not get through wet newspapers.
To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings.
Dump out the hot water, but don't dry cup. Next, add your ingredient (peanut butter, honey, etc.) and watch how easily it comes right out.
just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals easily. (Don't forget about the envelope!)
To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass, fill it 1/2 with Apple Cider Vinegar
and 2 drops of dish washing liquid; mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!
The heating unit went out on my dryer! The gentleman that fixes things around the house for us told us that he wanted to show us something and he went over to the dryer and pulled out the lint filter. It was clean. (I always clean the lint from the filter after every load of clothes.) He took the filter over to the sink and ran hot water over it. The lint filter is made of a mesh material . I'm sure you know what your dryer's lint filter looks like. Well .... the hot water just sat on top of the mesh! It didn't go through it at all! He told us that dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh - that's what burns out the heating unit.
You can't SEE the film, but it's there. It's what is in the dryer sheets to make your
clothes soft and static free. You know how they can feel waxy when you take them out of the box ... well this stuff builds up on your clothes and on your lint screen. This is also what causes dryer units to potentially burn your house down with it!
He said that increases the life of the dryer at least twice as long! How about that!?!
Learn something new everyday! I certainly didn't know dryer sheets would do that. So, I thought I'd share!
Note: I went to my dryer and tested my screen by running water on it. The water ran through a little bit but mostly collected all the water in the mesh screen. I washed it with warm soapy water and a nylon brush and I had it done in 30 seconds. Then when I rinsed it ... the water ran right thru the screen! There wasn't any puddling at all! That repairman knew what he was talking about!
PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK.
NOT ONLY COULD IT SAVE SOMEONE'S HOME, BUT IT COULD SAVE a life !
Monday, February 22, 2010
- 101 Dalmatians and Peter Pan (Wendy) are the only two Disney cartoon features with both parents that are present and don't die throughout the movie. (Wait, what about Sleeping Beauty, which also has both parents surviving in the film?)
- 'Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
- The Baby Ruth candy bar was actually named after Grover Cleveland's baby daughter, Ruth.
- Armadillos have four babies at a time and they are always all the same sex.
- Armadillos are the only animal besides humans that can get leprosy.
- A group of unicorns is called a blessing. Twelve or more cows are known as a "flink." A group of frogs is called an army. A group of rhinos is called a crash. A group of kangaroos is called a mob. A group of whales is called a pod. A group of geese is called a gaggle. A group of ravens is called a murder. A group of officers is called a mess. A group of larks is called an exaltation. A group of owls is called a parliament.
- Physicist Murray Gell-Mann named the sub-atomic particles known as quarks for a random line in James Joyce, "Three quarks for Muster Mark!"
- The phrase "sleep tight" derives from the fact that early mattresses were filled with straw and held up with rope stretched across the bed frame. A tight sleep was a comfortable sleep.
- "Three dog night" (attributed to Australian Aborigines) came about because on especially cold nights these nomadic people needed three dogs (dingos, actually) to keep from freezing.
- Gilligan of Gilligan's Island had a first name that was only used once, on the never-aired pilot show. His first name was Willy. The skipper's real name on Gilligan's Island is Jonas Grumby. It was mentioned once in the first episode on their radio's newscast about the wreck.
- In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
- Ivory bar soap floating was a mistake. They had been overmixing the soap formula causing excess air bubbles that made it float. Customers wrote and told how much they loved that it floated, and it has floated ever since.
- Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself. (I don't want to know how they found this out - LadyHawke)
- The saying "it's so cold out there it could freeze the balls off a brass monkey" came from when they had old cannons like ones used in the Civil War. The cannonballs were stacked in a pyramid formation, called a brass monkey. When it got extremely cold outside they would crack and break off...Thus the saying.
- Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself.
- The Sanskrit word for "war" means "desire for more cows."
Friday, February 19, 2010
What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure. ~Gene Perret
Grandmothers are just 'antique' little girls. ~Author Unknown
Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild.
~ Welsh Proverb
Never have children, only grandchildren. ~Gore Vidal
Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you're just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric. ~Pam Brown
Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Grandfathers have only so many horsy rides in them. ~Gene Perret
When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window..
Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day and now the day was complete. ~ Marcy DeMaree
Grandmas hold our tiny hands for just a little while, but our hearts forever. ~Author Unknown
If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I'd have had them first. ~Lois Wyse
My grandkids believe I'm the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too. ~Gene Perret
If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should advise every one of you straight away to become one.. There is no fun for old people like it! ~Hannah Whithall Smith
It's such a grand thing to be a mother of a mother - that's why the world calls her grandmother. ~Author Unknown
You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. ~Proverb
An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly. ~Gene Perret
I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren have - if only for self-defense. ~Gene Perret
Grandmother-grandchild relationships are simple. Grandmas are short on criticism and long on love. ~Author Unknown
Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children. ~Alex Haley
A grandparent is old on the outside but young on the inside. ~Author Unknown
One of the most powerful handclasps is that of a new grandbaby around the finger of a grandfather. ~Joy Hargrove
It's amazing how grandparents parents seem so young once you become one. ~Author Unknown
Grandparents are similar to a piece of string - handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of their grandchildren. ~Author Unknown
Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. ~G. Norman Collie
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Oh, my brothers and sisters in Christ, if sinners will be damned, at least let them
leap to hell over our bodies; and if they will perish, let them perish with our arms
about their knees, imploring them to stay, and not madly to destroy themselves. If
hell must be filled, at least let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one
go there unwarned and unprayed for.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
In honor of the 44th President of the United States , Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has introduced a new flavor: " Barocky Road ."
Barocky Road is a blend of half vanilla, half chocolate, and surrounded by nuts and flakes. The vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient. The nuts and flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow.
The cost is $100.00 per scoop.
When purchased it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but after you pay for it, the ice cream is taken away and given to the person in line behind you at no charge.
You are left with an empty wallet and no change, holding an empty cone with no hope of getting any ice cream.
Are you stimulated?
Monday, February 15, 2010
Coffee filters ..... Who knew! And you can buy 1,000 at the Dollar Tree for almost nothing even the large ones.
1. Cover bowls or dishes when cooking in the microwave. Coffee filters make excellent covers.
2. Clean windows, mirrors, and chrome... Coffee filters are lint-free so they'll leave windows sparkling.
3. Protect China by separating your good dishes with a coffee filter between each dish.
4. Filter broken cork from wine. If you break the cork when opening a wine bottle, filter the wine through a coffee filter.
5. Protect a cast-iron skillet. Place a coffee filter in the skillet to absorb moisture and prevent rust.
6. Apply shoe polish. Ball up a lint-free coffee filter.
7. Recycle frying oil. After frying, strain oil through a sieve lined with a coffee filter.
8. Weigh chopped foods. Place chopped ingredients in a coffee filter on a kitchen scale.
9. Hold tacos. Coffee filters make convenient wrappers for messy foods.
10. Stop the soil from leaking out of a plant pot. Line a plant pot with a coffee filter to prevent the soil from going through the drainage holes.
11. Prevent a Popsicle from dripping. Poke one or two holes as needed in a coffee filter..
12. Do you think we used expensive strips to wax eyebrows? Use strips of coffee filters..
13. Put a few in a plate and put your fried bacon, French fries, chicken fingers, etc on them. It soaks out all the grease.
14. Keep in the bathroom. They make great "razor nick fixers."
15. As a sewing backing. Use a filter as an easy-to-tear backing for embroidering or appliqueing soft fabrics.
16. Put baking soda into a coffee filter and insert into shoes or a closet to absorb or prevent odors.
17. Use them to strain soup stock and to tie fresh herbs in to put in soups and stews.
18. Use a coffee filter to prevent spilling when you add fluids to your car.
19. Use them as a spoon rest while cooking and clean up small counter spills.
20. Can use to hold dry ingredients when baking or when cutting a piece of fruit or veggies.. Saves on having extra bowls to wash.
21. Use them to wrap Christmas ornaments for storage.
22. Use them to remove fingernail polish when out of cotton balls.
23. Use them to sprout seeds.. Simply dampen the coffee filter, place seeds inside, fold it and place it into a plastic baggie until they sprout.
24. Use coffee filters as blotting paper for pressed flowers. Place the flowers between two coffee filters and put the coffee filters in phone book..
25. Use as a disposable "snack bowl" for popcorn, chips, etc.
OH YEAH.....THEY ARE GREAT TO USE IN YOUR COFFEE MAKERS TOO!